My Second Verse

  I have always used music as a way to express my feelings.  The lyrics of certain songs resonate within me and it creates a visceral feeling.  Countless times I have posted songs or random lyric selections on Facebook in somewhat of a Vaguebooking way.  One thing I love about Facebook is the memory feature as it allows me to look back on where I had been in years prior.  I can look back and reflect on my feelings at the time.   My current husband shares part of this love for music and has also done the same thing with his musical Vaguebooking.  He posted this song and I got pretty fired up about it.  Mainly because his brother had to chime in regarding something he knows nothing about.  Very on brand.  He said: ”No, that song is not you You ate (sp) not the problem look at it the other way and see the (sp) she is the problem and that doesn’t mean you are the reason she is the problem either….she is just the problem….period...

 Master and Servant by Depeche Mode (lyrics by Martin L. Gore) I’ve loved Depeche Mode for decades. They were the first band that truly resonated with me, and as a young goth, it felt like a match made in Heaven. I’ve seen them on every tour since 1993, and I’ve already warned my partner that when they come back, I’ll be front and center — cost be damned. My children’s father loved Depeche Mode too. I can say many things about him, but his taste in music was impeccable. His Pontiac Le Mans even had a license plate frame that read, “Let’s Play… Master and Servant.” I loved it at the time. Loved it much less as the years went on. Life with a narcissist… I haven’t spent much time without one in my orbit in one way or another. My father: a raging narcissist. My high school boyfriend wasn’t anything like him, so apparently he had to go. Enter my first husband — the covert narcissist. It was always about him, but things escalated when I quit my job to become a stay‑at‑home mom. T...

  Austin by Blake Shelton I asked my partner yesterday if he had a country song that he felt I should dive into.  Well, as occurs sometimes, he missed the assignment.  And while his suggestions were not bad, they did not have quite the meaningfulness I was looking for.  This was not a test, I did not have this song in mind until later.  And it absolutely had to be this song.  Some back story first.  I had the most amazing high school sweetheart.  We dated from the beginning of my freshman year until the end of my senior year.  He was mature beyond his years, romantic, intelligent, and treated me like the Disney princess I always wanted to be. In February of 1994 he left for Marine Corp bootcamp.  I was finishing up high school and on May 1st I started my 5.5 year stint at the Blue Bayou Restaurant at Disneyland.  Upon his return in May he decided to drop by my house unannounced in his dress blues.  How sweet, right?  Wha...

So I decided to kick off my personal reflection on meaningful songs to me with "Labour" by Paris Paloma.  My take on this song is from my relationship with my first husband, the father of my two wonderful.  And while the "Labour" referenced was not excessively labour literally speaking, it was beyond exhausting and has left long-lasting scars.  Labour - Paris Paloma Why are you hanging on so tight? To the rope that I'm hanging from? Off this island, this was an escape plan (this was an escape plan) The escape plan—that’s all this was. In retrospect, I only married him to get out of my house. He was my way out; I was miserable living at home with my mom and stepfather. Hindsight being 20/20 as it always is, it was actually a great home life. My stepfather moved in when I was 18 and I was a typical brat. He was in his 40s and had been a bachelor with little experience with young women. He was gruff and had his own ideas on how we should behave. I was 18 an...